The PAL incident

In the continuing saga of "Lester doesn't look like a Filipino..."

On the way home, I took a PAL flight and was seated near the end of the plane. It was a 4-row seat and the aisle seat was mine. The three other seats were occupied by our "bagong bayanis."

Since I had heavy breakfast before the flight, i didn't feel like eating lunch. So when the flight attendant arrived with that irritating little trolley of his, this conversation ensued:

FA: Seafood with noodle or Pork with rice?

ME: Can I just have water with ice, please...

FA: Yes sir, but what would you like to eat? Seafood with noodle or Pork with rice?

ME: Nothing. Just give me water with ice.

FA: Why sir? Do you have special dietary needs? Are you vegetarian? Can I offer you something else?

ME: No, it's just that i'm not hungry. So if you can give me water with ice, that would be great.

FA: Sure, sir.

He gives me my drink and scoots away with his cart.

There I was, drinking my cold glass of water while reading Mabuhay Magazines, while the 3 bagong bayanis were starting to eat their lunch. Now, everyone who flies will know that the economy class seats are a bit cramped and too close to each other. Whatever conversation that takes place is likely to be heard by everyone within a 3 feet radius.

Here's what the 3 bagong bayanis talked about: (to help you visualize, BB3 was seated next to me, followed by BB2 and BB1)

BB 1: Alam mo, hiningi mo na lang sana yung pagkain ng katabi mo. Hindi niya naman pala kukunin eh. *giggle, giggle*

BB 3: Ano ba kayo. Baka naman akalain nila gutom na gutom tayo.

BB 2: Sayang naman kasi, noh! Binayaran niya na yung pagkain eh hindi naman niya kakainin. Sana pinamigay niya na lang.

BB 3: Bayaan niyo na siya. Eh sa ayaw niyang kumain.

This was followed by sounds of munching and the clinking of plastic utensils. After a few minutes of silence:

BB 1: Alam mo, yang katabi mo, mukha nga siyang pihikan sa pagkain. Tignan mo yung katawan niya. (She was, of course, referring to me.)

BB 2: Oo nga, mukha nga siyang sosyalin. Tignan mo yung balat niya.

BB 1: Siguro hindi yan kumakain ng pagkaing hindi class (pronounced kluzzz) kaya siguro ayaw niyang kumain ng pagkain sa eroplano.

BB 3: Ano ba kayo, pabayaan niyo na lang siya kung ayaw niyang kumain.

Of course at that point, I figured out that they thought I was a foreigner who didn't speak nor understand a word of Tagalog. And since I didn't want to embarrass them, I chose to just shut up and let the whole thing pass.

The meal was finished and the tray tables were cleared. I decided to catch a little shut eye since I couldn't really sleep the night before. My eyes were closed and my consciousness was drifting, then suddenly this conversation began:

BB 1: (to BB 3) 'Diba magaling kang mag-Ingles? Kausapin mo yung katabi mo para may kausap naman siya.

BB 2: (to BB 3) Oo nga. Guwapo siya, ha. Kamukha siya ni Carlos Agassi. (writer's note: I don't think I do!)

BB 1: (to BB 3) Sige naaaaa.... Di ba single ka pa. Malay mo, maging boyfriend mo yan. *giggle, giggle*

BB 3: Ano ba kayo?!? Parang anak ka na lang yan, noh. Ang tanda-tanda ko na.

BB 2: Eh ano ngayon? Tignan mo si Demi Moore, 'diba mas bata sa kanya ang boyfriend niya?

I was desperately trying not to laugh or show emotion since I was supposedly asleep. But part of me just SOOOO wanted to stand up and laugh at all of them. I wanted to say: WAHAHAAA! Naiintindihan ko kayo kanina pa! WAHAHAAA! But of course, I restrained myself and proceeded to sleep.

Fast forward 30 minutes after. The plane has landed and people were getting their baggage from the overhead bin. BB 3 was trying to reach for her bag, so I decided to help her. Right after giving her the carry on luggage she brought, she tells me:

BB 3: Thank you very much. You're very nice. (of course, if I spelled this as she said it, it would read: Tenk you bery much. Yor bery nayssss.)

ME: You're welcome. (then smile)

BB 1: Uyyyyy. Nagkakamabutihan na sila....

Now how's that for "Flying the Friendly Skies..."