During this occasion, I remember my grandparents with both fondness and sadness. It's the day that I feel happy and blessed that I got to know both my paternal and maternal grandparents very well, but there's also a bit of loneliness in my heart because I felt they passed away too soon. I was 16 when Lola Dita and Lolo Iking joined Our creator. Lola Pining passed away when I was younger, and Lolo Doring passed away in the 90s.
Despite the fact that they've been gone for more than 20 years, I have such vivid memories of all 4 of my grandparents. The way they spoke, their type of humor, how they were like when they were happy, and how they were like as disciplinarians. I remember their big dreams and little quirks. But most of all, I remember the lessons they taught me. Those lessons that I carry with me as a young boy, all the way into my adulthood.
And in honor of Grandparents' Day, I salute the 4 people who made such an impact in my life.
LOLO IKING
I always tell people that my Grandfather was a great man. And Lolo Iking really was a great man. He was a Brigadier General who headed the Manila Police Department (then called Manila's Finest) with so much authority and integrity. Lolo Iking was an incorruptible public servant who served the people with so much passion. And he was a leader who commanded so much respect.
Among the people he trained was Mayor Alfredo Lim. I remember how Mayor Lim was almost in tears as he delivered his eulogy for Lolo Iking. He recalled that Lolo was a wonderful mentor and an even more wonderful friend, and how he was the ideal public servant. When Mayor Lim mentioned that, it simply reaffirmed something that I knew was true. Everyday, we saw how Lolo lived his live with integrity and humility.
Integrity and Humility. These are the 2 qualities of Lolo Iking that I greatly admire. He was an accomplished man. He was a man of influence and power. But he never let any of these get into his head. He lived his life shying away from the spotlight, and just working quietly behind the scenes. He never wanted attention, nor recognition. He just wanted to quietly influence and change the lives of people for the better. And that's what made him an effective leader, and grandfather. And for that, I'll always be one of Lolo's number 1 fans.
LOLA DITA
Lola Dita was a disciplinarian. I remember her as a Lola who put a premium on proper decorum. She would always remind us if we were out of line, and tell us if we were too noisy, or too rowdy. She would call our attention if we were disturbing the peace, or if we were becoming too gregarious for our own good. My fondest memories of her include our Sunday masses, and Lola would be in her full regalia (complete with lace veil.) When I'd become antsy and impatient, she'd look at me and say: "You should behave properly in Jesus' house."
Proper. That's Lola Dita. She was proper both in looks and in demeanor. She was born in that era when the women were glamorous, always put together, and - of course - always proper. Her hair would always be in a coif. She would always be impeccably dressed, right down to her shoes and accessories. She would move and talk like a well-bred lady. And she was the epitome of grace and class.
If I remember correctly, Lola Dita had 4 closets of clothes and 1 closet full of shoes. No wonder she was always dressed to the nines whenever she went out. And her attitude was always as beautiful as her clothes, and that's what I'll always remember about her, and one of the most important lessons she taught me. That one must always be proper, treat everyone equally, and always practice good etiquette and impeccable manners wherever and whenever.
Lolo Iking and Lola Dita were my paternal Grandparents, and we grew up with them by our side. That's why they made such an impact on us as we grew up and grew older.
My maternal Grandparents lived in the U.S. and in Bicol. We only got to see them during summer, and usually, just for a month at a time. But no matter how short the time was, or how infrequent they were, they also left an indelible mark in my mind, and carry with me the lessons they imparted.
LOLO DORING
When I was a young boy and I'd spend my summer in Malinao, Albay, one thing that struck me was that everyone treated Lolo Doring with such respect. He'd sit on a bench outside the ancestral home, and everyone who'd pass by would stop and greet Lolo. They would either shake his hand, do the "mano", or simply nod their head in respect. And at that point, I thought, "Lolo must be a very important man."
Indeed, Lolo Doring was a very, very important man. He was the mayor of Malinao for several terms. He was President Magsaysay's key person in Bicol. During the 2nd world war, the Japanese troops were about to massacre the entire population of a village in Albay, but Lolo Doring negotiated with them and everyone was spared. Such was his bravery and his power.
And while I remember Lolo Doring as the brave and powerful Grandfather of mine, what I remember most is his sense of humor. He was such a joker, and spent a lot of time poking fun at everyone, including us, his grandchildren. He would always have a big smile which lit up his face which had a lot of moles. He would gargle his water before drinking it, and he would ask us to imitate him. He had such an infectious laugh which captured his joy, brought about by a life well lived and time well spent. And if people find me smiling a lot and living my life in the happiest way, well, I think it's because Lolo Doring showed me the value of those characteristics.
LOLA PINING
She was a woman ahead of her time. During an era where politics was dominated by men, Lola Pining became Mayor of Malinao for several terms. Previous to that, she was also a multi-term Vice mayor to Lolo Doring. Now that I think about it, maybe that's why Malinao had a very family-oriented town. Their "parents" during the 60s to the 80s (the Mayor and Vice mayor) were a real-life couple.
Lola Pining was very sharp and very intelligent. I could sense this by the way she talked to us. She would never "baby talk" any of us, and she conversed with us as if we were all adults. She was very knowledgeable in many things. I was an inquisitive and precocious little boy, and Lola was able to answer all the questions that I'd throw on to her. Those answers had so much authority and sense that I remember that she was my inspiration whenever I joined debates in elementary and high school.
Another fond memory about Lola Pining is how she was a great story teller. She was my personal "Lola Basyang" and I'd listen so intently whenever she'd tell me stories about Malinao. Whether the stories were a bit creepy (like the headless priest who'd roam around town during Good Friday) or sentimental (she'd tell me about the history and memories of the church in front of our house), she would tell it in such an illustrative way that I felt like I was in that story. And I appreciate hearing and telling good stories because of her.
Four grandparents with four very different backgrounds and attitudes. Four important figures that I was fortunate enough to have spent time with and learn from. This Grandparents' Day, I remember, I salute and I thank Lolo Iking and Lola Dita, Lolo Doring and Lola Pining for being such wonderful Grandparents who taught me to become the best person I can be.
And I can pay tribute and give thanks to them by living life practicing the lessons they passed on to my parents and to me.
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